Managing relationships...

In this fast moving world, we often are lost in managing relationships barely because there are too many to handle. So we don't really know which ones to maintain and which ones to not. This includes relationships both at a personal as well as professional level. Sometimes, you tend to miss out on a particular relationship, like a friend's birthday just because you weren't focussed enough and you had 20 other things in your mind. Then you feel bad that you didn't wish him on his birthday.

In today's fast pace life, we maintain various relationships, we need to network professionally, we need to be at the top of our energy to keep things around us ticking and healthy. So at times it can get a little challenging and we might find ourselves stressed and lacking quality time of our own or/and with our close ones.

So the best option is to decide and categorize relationships which would surely make things easier. We need to look around ourself and evaluate each relationship at it's level to identify which one of these really makes what difference in our lives. For those which really makes a difference, we focus more and keep track of it more that those who are more of a connection.

It's often noticed, that when you are in a tough phase, you identify the true nature of people and hence you get to know who is close and who is not. Often people come close to you for their own reasons, and not for yours. So it's important to honestly raise the question in your mind as to why people are with you. Is the need mutual, or it's one-sided. If it isn't mutual, it would result in short-termed one. So its better to analyze your relationships and decide the ones you want to maintain closely, the ones not so closely.

Planning to balance your social, professional and your personal life is the true key to success of being a person appreciated by everyone around. Sometimes we feel we don't have enough people around us, it's actually our lack of identifying them. Without Give, you don't Get. So you gotta give time & attention to someone if you expect the same in return. It's a normal behavior across humans.

Managing relationships isn't difficult, if we know which ones to manage, define the boundaries and establish the expectations correctly and honestly with the person involved in the relationship.

Does our past affects our present and future?

This is something which is in my mind over the last few days due to whatever reasons. So I decided to do my usual analysis of my mind and tried to address the question. It's tricky and interestingly applies to almost everybody. Some decide to ignore it, others accept it, some of which handle it well, others don't.

So the key is to handle it well. Time is running eternally at a slow and steady pace. It's the most steady movement you can tell about. So every moment of our lives will be a moment of the past in no time. We started this life at zero when we were born and now we have spent decades if not decade of time in our lives. So yes, we definitely have a past.

Looking back at our past we will see that there are some bright times and there are some which are not. So when you go far off, its only natural that your conscious mind sees only the bright spots where as your unconscious minds can still read the not so bright spots. Our human brain is both a voluntary and involuntary data processor. It implies that it works on information we gain from experiences sometimes by our will, and sometimes without our will. The difference it makes is through our perspective of the present world around us. It defines the way we look at the world in the present and future. So it's clearly evident that our past life does influence our thoughts, perspectives and decisions we make in our present life or for future life.

The other aspect is our power to overpower the defaults of the brain. We should have that willpower and based on our judgment decide as to how we should sometimes overrule the default decision or inference made by our brain based on facts. Not every truth is based on facts. Sometimes we are unable to read through, in fact most times we are unable to read beyond what is obvious and in front of us. This isn't a very easy task, but the sad part is we even refrain from making at attempt and often get lead by the defaults what our brain defines and even worse, someone else's brain defaults even though the other person is doing so with a good heart and right intentions.

The toughest challenge however is when we overcome our own self but we often get to face it from others who matter to us or who is important to us. Under such circumstances, two things can happen. You might start believing what the other's persons is portraying and thereby overrule your own belief. Alternatively, you decide that the other person's thoughts are way too superficial and hence you decide to ignore it until the other person thinks more and realizes that what lies in present is all that matters. Past is something which we can't control or change. We can, surely can, to some extent, control the way we lead our present and future. So it's in the best interests of everyone to learn from the past and focus on present and future.

Finally, the best way possible to ensure that we don't end up dumping our perception about someone solely the way our brain analyzes it. We should try the best possible way to place ourselves in their shoe and figure it out. What if we had such a past and the situation was reversed here, what would we have expected?

When darkness gets intensified, light isn't that far away...

One of my professors once told about this referring to the sad state of affairs in our state. However over the years, I have found it coming true and every time it did, it only strengthened my belief in it. For most people darkness comes as a shock when they are in bright light, suddenly they are left in darkness. For some fortunate ones, they can see it coming, but for those who can't, the first challenge is believing the very fact of absence of light. With time, the the essence of darkness makes them believe it and then comes the quest for the spark of light. The wait sometimes takes long...but it does ends as the title suggests, darker the darkness, more likely it's going to be replaced by light.

The tough aspect is how to deal with darkness. In most times, when you are in dark you are probably alone and can see very few people around, who are also fade. So what is the best you can do, love yourself, make yourself shiny enough to be noticed even in the darkness. Isn't a properly cut diamond needs one streak of light to glitter best... So the key is to not loose faith in yourself and keep striving for the light you are looking for...your belief in your own self can see you through. Always remember, if you don't believe in yourself, no one will. If you don't love yourself, no one will. That's how the world is. Once you make yourself noticeable in the dark, the fade people around you, will become brighter and you work your way out. Everyone including God, supports the brave and courageous...so pull yourself up and strive, hard !

Once you get to light, don't forget those faded people who are bright, you can see them. As the world is, some might have come seeing you out of darkness, stay shy of them and stand by those who stood by you. Life is like a balance, so you do your bit to balance it, nature does the rest anyways, but then you do have a choice to balance, if you do, you control it, else nature controls it in a unique way. Oh yes, enjoy the light...!!