When yesterday meets today

There is a saying - Time and Tide waits for none. So true. Every moment comes to be gone the next moment. So what is today, will become yesterday tomorrow. That's life. The ironical part is that the passover from today to yesterday, the time separating the two is filled with darkness often unless the moonlight blesses the transition.

When our parents give birth to us, we happen to be the best thing to happen to them, their world. They bring us up as their own, as their most precious possession and we enjoy the love, care and attention they shower on us. We grow up and then we start defining our own world. Our parents in the meantime, slowly became yesterday from today as we replaced them as today. The challenge comes when we expect them to completely adhere to today's world and they expect us to adhere to their world. This is a evergreen problem and will crop up when we hand over the today to our future generation.

So how do we tackle it, so that we don't end up having eclipses at the transition and have moonlight always. If we take a step back and look at the basic nature of humans and their expectations. We often end up expecting n things, just because we think is right, so does our parents and so do will our future generation. The key is to manage the expectations. The same needs to happen on either side. If we are realistic and bend over a little on the other side and look from the other person's perspective, we would not only realize the way the other person think, we might find the middle path quite acceptable to both.

The solution never lies in confrontation, since that only worsens matter. Procrastination doesn't help either, since the problem swells unless the same is attended to. Hence we should pro actively address the situation and resolve it by managing our expectations, by having detailed & sincere conversation. There isn't a problem which can't be solved, we just need to find the right solution.

Changing face of relationships...

Often people complain or get upset over the fact that certain aspects of a relationship has changed over time and things are no longer the same. When people get comfortable in a relationship and it's aspects, they normally would like to continue the same through eternity, failing to understand the universal truth that only change is consistent, so things will change, time will change, people will change. What's they key to handle this?

The most important aspect is to notice whether the change is at an appearance level or at a more fundamental level. This is primarily important more than the fact that the change has happened. To drill down further we need to be observant and understand the change from the perspective of the person we are in relationship with. What we need to observe is whether the basic platform on which the relationship is based and formed has undergone a change or not. If it has changed, we need to figure out the direction. It can be for the good or can be otherwise with respect to the relationship. If it's otherwise, we must introspect ourselves to figure out if we are responsible for the same. Also do think about if we can make amends to restore the strength of the fundamental building block of the relationship.

If the change is purely on appearance guided by the change in environment, change in situations and change in other aspects beyond your control, then its better to offer leverage to the other person and be an observer from a distance. This would help us to understand what and how the change is merely superficial, keeping the fundamentals intact. We can also choose to participate in the change and make the other person feel better about the entire process of change. The challenge is our own restriction, own limitation and own acceptance to the change. We need to overcome the same because you never know tomorrow, you might be changing based on your situations, and you would expect your partner to understand you and respond to your changes. Do you think if you don't respond today, your partner would tomorrow?

We are in a very materialistic world where love is just a buzz word and relationships exists or don't based on compatibility. So the key is whether the relationship you are in is compatible or not. If it is not, even love can't sustain in for long. There was a time, a phase, a generation where love use to be the key to a relationship, today it's compatibility, understanding each other and more so the eagerness to adapt to the changes in and around the relationship.

Key to spoil a good relationship, take the person for granted

More often when a person makes the other comfortable in a relationship by various means like overlooking a few stuff, ignoring a few things, etc. This primarily is done to ensure the other person a freedom of space that is absolutely a must in a good relationship. The tough part is when the other person starts taking the leverage for granted, often failing to realize how much it can hurt the other person.

In a good relationship, both should offer a level of leverage, a level of space for the other person to grow in the environment caused by the presence of the other person. Its like when you plant a sapling in a new soil bed, it takes time to get adapted to it, to grow green in it and then finally it blooms. Expecting it to bloom immediately, isn't fair. The same applies to a relationship. It takes time for the other person to get comfortable in each other's environment. Until then, sufficient care, time and attention is needed to ensure the transition.

Humans can think, unlike plants. So the challenge is more. Plants care about the basic needs, humans think beyond that, hence its complex. Humans tend to analyze, tends to retrospect and hence use their brains a lot in their relationships. So it is equally challenging for either to ensure each other's growth. So what happens when the plant thinks, I will not try to save water in leaves, since my master will give me water everyday. The same happens when you take relationships for granted. Its as good as flirting with danger of loosing the relationship.

Never stop working on a relationship or the relationship stops working for you.